"Death Becomes Her" - a century of mourning clothes. A fascinating exhibit to see now at The Met.

Holiday shopping season in NYC is in full swing; the Christmas lights are up; the outdoor ice rinks are open at Bryant Park and Rockefeller Plaza...

Crowds are gathering too at the MOMA for the major Henri Matisse retrospective: "The Cut-Outs" but I head with my fashion stylist friend Cathie, for a fascinating afternoon at The Met.

On now, until February 1st, and showing in the brand new Anna Wintour Costume Center:

"Death Becomes Her" - a century of mourning clothes - 1815 to 1915.

You might be mistaken in thinking "Death Becomes Her" is a little bit of a macabre topic for a fun Sunday afternoon outing? Or just so perfectly and laughably stereotypical for the "Only in New York!" naysayers. NYC is the only city in the US where black is THE go to "color" for every season, all year round - after all...

But, believe me, the exhibition is much more than just an ode to gothic glamour.

This carefully curated collection of 30 beautiful costumes (and some jewelry) examines the societal expectations and fashion/etiquette prescribed by the ladies' fashion journals of the day around mourning.

It's beautifully done.

It covers the arc of time between 1815 to 1915 when women of a certain upper class standing were expected to withdraw from public life and activities, and adhere to strict "respectable" mourning period guidelines - one to two years in mourning for a husband; 6 months to a year for a parent; 3 to 6 months for a sibling.

To portray one's grief in the very beginning, matt black clothing was to be worn. As time progressed, small editions of white could be added, along with glossier fabrics. Towards the end of the set mourning period, more ornate beading and other embellishment could be worn, until gradually a muted palate - grays; mauves; violets and purples.

Pictured here - amazingly preserved, and one of the highlights - is one of Queen Victoria's mourning gowns. A woman who was certainly a style leader in the concept of the fashion of mourning, indeed she wore mourning gowns for the rest of her life after Prince Albert died.

Below is a spectacular sequined deep purple evening gown worn by Queen Alexandra. A fabulous example of evening wear to be worn after the initial period of mourning had passed.

And here is a brooch featuring the delicately braided hair of a loved one. Mourning jewelry incorporating the hair of the deceased was very popular, along with jet and ebony carved necklaces and pins.

The fact that the mourning fashion trend waned after 1915 is significant. 

During the midst of WW1 there were simply too many deaths, and women were needed to step up, not withdraw from society. Women were needed to fill vital roles in the war effort, and all of a sudden, in these changing times, the whole practice seemed restrictive and self indulgent.

Not that I am totally dismissive of the mourning clothes concept. I remember distinctly, after the death of my Father (four years ago now)  telling my close friends, that I wished I could've worn them.

At the time, I wanted people to know I had suffered a terrible loss, and by wearing a mourning "uniform" I hoped that strangers would perhaps have acknowledged my more sensitive, vulnerable state. 

Perhaps we would treat others a little more kindly if we saw them wearing black? Perhaps we should start a movement to bring mourning fashion back?

But, wait, what am I saying?

I live in New York. 

We all wear black all the time anyway ...